Endless Possibilities..

How would you know if an opportunity or a chance given to you is the right one? Is it because it will make things easier? Is it because it will help you do things you like? What if it only looks right but doesn't feel right, is it the one? What if everyone says go for it? What if most of the people important to you says its right but the decision is still up to you, meaning you can say NO and it's still OK? Does deciding for your future have a deadline? Like you have to decide by this time or you will not achieve your dreams.. what if you already have a goal and you're still not sure of how to achieve it then this "OPPURTUNITY" is given to you but you think its against your ways?

I know that many persons that if given this "opportunity" would grab it but I don't really think I belong to those "many people". I have suggested this to other people and tell them it's a good thing but I never thought that if it would be given to me ill be this way. Obviously, I don't like the idea but I just don't know how to put an end to this opportunity in a calm and nice way and the fact that I haven't really earned the right to decide for myself yet when it comes to this SOMEBODY, its really hard, I'll just end up as a disappointment again. I know that she really wants this, I can tell by how she tries to manipulate the words she says and the way she say "other people say" it. I believe that she only wants the best for me even though it kind'a looks selfish to me. I don't really want to take it, I already have a plan for my future and if an opportunity that fits my plan comes then for me it'll be the right one. It wouldn't matter if it doesn't make things easier for me or it'll take a very long time as long as it FITS to my plan then I'll take it. i don't really have this well-planned and well-thought-of PLAN it can still use some revisions and change from time to time but I think its just right that way, I could never tell how my next year would be or what my first job is, or where I would take myself or if I could really have a job at all but holding to that plan gives me some sort of direction that I can check when im doubting myself. There could be another opportunity for me or other possibilities that I should look at, I don't think that a right thing would feel wrong, would it? well this one feels wrong for me, I don't think my conscience would allow me to take it, my conscience is really strong, that if I did something illegal I may get caught. I lie sometimes but I never got interrogated so I never have the chance to put it to test but there was this time, in high school where some of our classmates were late and they were not allowed to enter the classroom until the quiz is done. Me and my friends decided to write a quiz for them and pass it, so when our teacher checked the names of the paper she saw that the late students passed their papers with complete answers, of course she knows that there's an "inside" job but no one is speaking so she just let it go but didn't count their papers, after our class I was still shaking, I'm thinking that she might recognize my handwriting or whatever, bottom-line is even with just that simple act my conscience are taking over me, I could not do anything more bad-"er" to that.. this is how I feel with this said opportunity, it feels really wrong and bad. Maybe I just don't have that courage yet, or that Will for that step. I also think that in achieving your goals you don't have to sacrifice a lot of things, maybe I don't really want to do it right now, maybe I haven't really done what I'm suppose to do before I do things for myself yet. There's just so many things I think I have to fix first before I would go to another path or level in my life. ;) hayz.. am I really serious?..hmm