birthdays...

happy birthday to me..

its my day and im off to manila for my critical review, its 12:00am and i cant fit my things on my bagS. i want to sleep. anyways i just want to post my wish list just like from the other blogs i read and hopefully be able to have them either as a form of gifts or I'll give/buy to myself or by divine interventions just before my next birthday comes. i wish...
1. to pass the board exams and my friends and classmates too!! this June 100% please!! (purely divine intervention)

2. for a peaceful vacation to a beach and learn surfing..

3. for a Digital camera

4. for aPSP

5.for an ipod touch

6.for a Rottweiler or a cocker spaniel

7. for a date with mike shinoda(i must be sleeping now..)

8.for a laptop

9. for a new cellphone

10.for a body piercing

11.for an awesome job by next year!!

my new year resolutions.. (i do know what the date is, i just think that a new year's resolution should be done on your birthday instead of Jan. 1. i just ended a year of my life and another one is given so I've taken time to reflect on the past year and saw how I've been and that i should come up with a resolution for my new year. i hope you'd understand ;)

to be more active(so that i can be more productive)I'm really lazy, i always tell myself to just relax because of the stress my course is giving me but i think i rest to much i haven't been doing chores for a year now.. i guess if i would be active i can do lots of things that i haven't done before so i think its the only resolution i have to make. it already covers everything i should do and change..

oUch!!

hayyy... im so broken hearted...... wtF!!! im officially beginning to hate this addictive personality i have, its starting to show the bad side of being an addict.. hayy.. sad...

the broken hearted thing..... well there's this attractive, super astig, suplado looking, simple pero rock, long hair, cute smile(never failed to make me smile too!!), yummy body tall guy that i just saw and liked super right away, like a love at first sight thing.. well from that day on I'm on a hunt for his pictures and info(sa Internet), sadly i only found pictures, i don't know why but i don't copy or save his pictures in my PC, its weird because i would feel guilty if i would try to. then just today i found new set of pictures of him and a lot his friends from a multiply site of his friend(I'm so A stalker) then found out that -of course for a guy like him its hard to stay single- he have a girl friend and I'm not sure if he's the father of the little girl but the point is that reality just hit me(so many times) again super how could a guy like him actually notice me if ever we would bump into each other in the future when he is obviously surrounded by those pretty-can wear all those clothes and bikinis that i cant wear for some maria Clara like reasons-girls. well i had the chance to think of changing myself because this addictive kind of thinking is not helping especially now that i have to review but instead I'd kill my time looking for pictures of him and info's that only hurts me. and i don't know why(again) but since I'm broken hearted and should stop looking for info's about him i still look for it and the only good thing about it is that i learned they just broke up for some bad reasons about the guy that I'm not sure of(I'm only reading the info's on blogs, they don't really write the good stuffs..hehe) and I'm only reading the side of the girl and shes emotional so theres this tiny light of hope that he could still be a good person (just how i thought he would be). for now i have to use this feeling to motivate me to review, gosh the board exam is coming and im just sitting here.. stupid thing to do but im still here and i put my blog back what a nice move.. noh? hayy..

so the change thing can wait 'til the results of the exam is out and if it says i passed because if i don't i have to drown myself to a real a couple of months long of review away from the comforts of my uncomfortable home and loved ones... that's my punishment for me if that happened... and that could also mean that this blog would be like this for a long time unless somebody would be super nice to help me(actually do it alone) make my template.. my gift for myself would be a vacation to wherever my bugdet can take me.. hopefully somewhere i can learn to surf, my first choice would be US but thats like too good to be true.

just to clear about the addict thing.. i don't do drugs.. i think i do worst..hehe.. my addiction started when i was in elementary(primary) whatever its called or maybe earlier i just don't remember.. I'm addicted to soft drinks preferably coke or Pepsi.. its an addiction because its bad for me but i keep drinking it, its like my water and i don't drink water that does not have a little taste i don't know how to describe it but i feel sick if i would drink 1 glass of water but i can go for more coke even if i already drank 1.5 liter of it. it can be a psychological thing because some other addictions I'm suppose to have i have already stopped/prevented like smoking and alcohol maybe its because I'm surrounded by friends that don't smoke and drink a lot and they told me they'll kill me if i would which was really scary because i think they can do that for my own good..hehe(jowk) well, honestly at the time i was teasing them that i smoke and drink, its actually true but i just denied it and lied, told them i was just playing them..hehe what a nice friend..he he so the question is how can i battle myself to stop this addiction because its really hurting me, not only the stalker kind of addict and the drinking addict because I'm feeling pain in all the places i can imagine(physical and emotional pain that is) and the fact that our family have history of diabetes doesn't make it easier. im still young to die. and i swear i havent done my purpose not even close. i think i really need that change..as in now..

first post

new blog for new life... my first blog which i just erased moments ago have 43 post for the last 4-5years and the last post was way back year 2006.. didn't have enough time to post somethings and i forgot about it.. now the reason i erased it and created a new one instead of continuing the old one is because i hate the old one. well before, i do like it but now after almost two years of no blogging just friendster and email i don't. a lot of things have changed especially WITH me, and maybe its one of the reasons why but I'm sure that ill be posting just like before, not SO very often..